You Promised 50 Years...

as i was driving home last thursday, he called for his daily chat with me during his lunch hour... i was told that a friend of my former colleague died in an accident and it was on the paper... i didnt think much of it at that point of time...

as i was going through my routine check on my facebook when i got home... i saw a loving message on another former colleague's status declaring her love to her bf... it felt a little off at that time, as this particular gal, FSL, had rarely done that over public means of communication... then, came the comments on asking her to be strong...

coincidentally, RZ was on his skype... i asked and the shocking news came... the boy FSL was declaring her love to was the exact same guy that AL mentioned... the boy passed on with 4 of his family on a head on collision with a trailer... the news didnt exactly sink in on me until the next morning at work...

this is the exact same guy that i worked with for my last christmas party... the exact same guy that i practiced the christmas caroling with... the exact same guy that i sat down with, chatted and had dinner with... the exact same guy i was only hearing on his news not so long ago... and for god's sake, he was only 23!!! ... and this was me when he was only an acquaintance...

and then i started to think of FSL... the guy was someone very important to her... someone whom she had lost not just temporary, but for the rest of her life... the scariest part was when i started thinking the what ifs, if i was in her shoes...

just the mere thought of losing AL almost killed me... all this thoughts happened within minutes while i was already at work, reading the article on the accident... and yes, when i said the latter thought almost killed me, it was and still is true... the mental image was so painful, i could feel tears weld up in my eyes and spilled over...

i thought i had learnt the lesson of not taking time for granted with my loved ones when a friend of mine passed on 2 years ago... ever since that day, i've tried so hard not to be stingy with my "i love you"s and my show of affections... but my thoughts were so wrong... it will never be enough... all i can do is pray for his safety and that of my family's... i seriously doubt i can survive if i lose my family, especially you AL...